The Saboteur

I had planned to write and post a scary halloween-type story to celebrate my one-year-old blog. But, the story sits unfinished… Apparently when I am busy with the logistics of my life, planning, making lists, catching up on chores and other duties, my left-brain dominates and I am clear and linear in my thinking. But, though my brain may work like a well-oiled machine, I’m basically a drag to be around.

Now, if I permit my right brain to take command, I become like a puppy off-leash. I'm more creative and able to write effortlessly. In fact, I'm so ready to "go with the flow" that I tend to space out and thus become a danger behind the wheel. Anyway, the best I can manage right now is to paste together some stuff I wrote back in my Facebook days:

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For 12 years we lived without much bother from the squirrels in the city where we resided, as we had a dog who had a way of baring her teeth in a manner that reminded one of Stephen King's Cujo. One day the alarm system on our house was tripped. The security company alerted me of a possible break-in and being but a few minutes from home, they arranged for me to meet reps from the Chicago police department there.

When I arrived, regular patrol officers, as well as two detectives, were standing in wait on my front porch. It seems our crazed-looking dog, now clawing, drooling and barking in a demonic frenzy at the front door, was enough to hold at bay police, who are accustomed to urban violence that ranks, near or at the top among the nation.

But, I digress… I remember now, fondly, that when I baked in the fall, I could open a window and place a pie or bowl of ganache-topped cookies out on the sill to cool. No squirrel would dare come forth. But, outside the confines of our fenced backyard the squirrels were a menace. They would chew holes in the tops of our city-provided garbage containers, find and remove a choice bit of leftover apple core or
avocado skin, eat tiny bits of it and ceremoniously dump the refuse in our yard. They would gnaw their 
way through the pumpkins I put out as part of our halloween decorations. Hours were spent perfecting the perfect jack-o-lanterns, which were demolished in minutes. An affront, I felt, not unlike one to an artist whose work is senselessly destroyed by vandals (wink).

Some people say that squirrels are calculating saboteurs. And squirrels do exhibit unusual behavior. Like their kamikaze-like propensity to chew through live electric wires, thus causing power outages, as if they wished to plunge the entire country into darkness. But are they really sinister? I must admit to actually wondering this, as I'd watch a particular red squirrel torment my grandchildren's dear dog, Maya. Maya was one of those otherwise sweet dogs who, for whatever reason, fixates on squirrels. When I would tend to the children I'd notice that the squirrel would sit outside the back door, with seemingly no objective in life, but to brazenly and mercilessly taunt and menace poor Maya. 

I'd often wonder why we'd easily have a dozen or more squirrels living within 30 square feet of our city dwelling, yet I'd rarely see a squirrel within 400 square feet of our country home. Wouldn’t I, as a squirrel, prefer the open fields and stands of timber found in our idyllic country setting, I reasoned? But no, though I occasionally see a squirrel quickly, oh and I mean ever so quickly, darting from tree to tree, my carved country pumpkins sit undisturbed, even though I no longer have a dog to scare away the squirrel vandals.

I ponder that again today, a cup of coffee in hand, sipping slowly and taking in the beauty of fall's magnificent colors. My eyes are taken skyward as I see a beautiful red tail hawk soaring above. Aren't they a sight with their wings majestically extended in an almost complete plane? The hawk gracefully and effortlessly pirouettes, takes a dive, plucks a squirrel from the ground and carries it away…