I could swear I just heard that same snap, crackle and pop noise that I heard in the sports doctor's office I'd visited years back, armed with an MRI showing a small tear in my ACL. As the doctor gazed at the previous report, he asked: "Do you ever experience pain in your joints?" "No." "How about stiffness in your joints?" "Sometimes in the morning but it goes away quickly upon stretching." "Any clicking or other sounds when you move?" "Nope." He points to a 3-step block on the floor, "Would you step up on this, please?"
In the quiet of his office the crackling and popping of my ankles and knees seemed to resound. I chuckled, "Well, I guess my joints do make some noise." The doctor shook his head in amusement, "You're like an old farmer who's riddled with arthritis, but has a high pain threshold, so when you ask him about pain or discomfort he says, 'No, Doc, no pain at all!' "
***
He arrived bundled for warmth one spring morning. I'd never seen him before, but his red-checked hat reminded me of my grandfather.
I'm familiar with the regular crew. Although they are all cross-trained for each task, they each have their own regular specialty. For instance there is my nemesis, the tee-box mower. He has it in for me, I could swear. When I golf in the early morning, I'll frequently happen upon him as he is in the midst of his work. He will politely move his mower to the side and idle the motor in neutral, so that it is quiet as I tee-up, address and swing, but the very instant, and I mean the very nanosecond my club makes contact with the ball, he engages the gears and revs up the engine. It's the knowledge that he will consistently do this that tenses me up. It takes every bit of my meditation and relaxation powers to focus on the drive alone and obliterate any thought of him. But Nemesis is an exception, as the rest of our grounds crew are unfailingly considerate and well-mannered.
Greens are, weather-dependant, mowed every day. Since the green is right outside my back door, I've observed many a green mowing over the past couple of years. So, with curiosity I watched this new guy pull up on the mower.
Like I said he is wearing a woolen red plaid hunting hat, plus earmuffs, a Carhartt jacket and good work gloves as he drives the mower to a spot beside the green itself, just past the the collar. Here he stops the mower and begins to disembark. I notice that he is a slight man, about 5' 7'' or so and probably not weighing more that 145 pounds, soaking wet. He's quite a bit older than the regular greens mower, I'm guessing he's a few years closer to 70 than I am. I immediately wonder how they found this guy. He's probably retired, looking for a little extra income, maybe even a retired farmer. Farmers usually have extensive mowing experience.
I know well the stiffness of arthritis and it's clear this guy has it. It is slowly and with painstaking effort that he lifts that first leg off of the mower. In fact he uses both hands to lift his thigh up and give his leg a boost to get it going in the right direction, and that's when I could swear I heard the snap-popping of his joints from the comfort of my kitchen chair, as I sipped my coffee and watched. Finally with both feet on the ground he stretches and arches his back, then walks over, retrieves the flag and brings it back to the mower, where he starts up the engine and begins to mow.
Now right off the bat, this is different from the young fellow who usually mows the green. Young Blood hits the ground running, so to speak, by never stopping the mower, and grabbing the flag on the fly during one of his mowing passes. He then drops the pin back into the cup the same way, on the fly, two passes later, quick and efficient. The contrast in speed and time spent makes me worry for the viability of the old ex-farmer's job.
But, there is another component to greens keeping, more important than the quickness with which the task is completed… it is the eventual way your ball will play on the green, the speed with which your ball will travel, the uniformity, the holding ability, why the very integrity of the finely mown grass are all critical to the person putting. While the science of greens maintenance is crucial, such as how often to water, type of grass, aeration, fertilization, etc., the refined and precise art to properly mowing a green is at least equal in importance. And it's here, where Old Farmer beats out Young Blood every time.
The finest, skilled greenskeepers originally came from Scotland. Is it a coincidence that this golf course shares a zip code with Lanark, the ancient city of Scotland? Perhaps this Old Farmer has some Scottish genes?
His zen-like movements are like watching meditation in motion, like his raising and lowering of the mower blades when he exits or enters the green. His turns are always completely off the collar and apron. His cuts are straight as an arrow. I especially enjoy watching how he leans the top half of his body off of the mower with his eyes glued to the sight of the edge of the mower blade. And he never skips the final step, the cleanup pass (as Young Blood others are known to do).
The cleanup pass is where it's easy to make a mistake. But if you don't do it, over time you can actually shrink a green, or make a collar larger, depending on how you look at it. And many's the time I'll spot a shaggy green edge in the morning when Old Farmer is not on the job. The morning dew is a dead giveaway for a skipped cleanup pass.
Also, Old Farmer is the only greens mower here that I've ever seen make a visual inspection of his results. It's here, as he slowly walks over to replace the flag, that he'll fix anything that is not up to his standards, like the hand picking up of any bits of grass that clump with the dew and fail to make it to the catch bin. I've come to appreciate him as the quintessential greens mower. It's as if he's the greens tender for the Master's at Augusta, or something. Yup, a greens mower must love the finished product. And when Old Farmer is on the job our greens receive a "spot on" coddling.
But, to me the best thing is the difference, after two years on the job, in Old Farmer's movements. He now hops easily on and off the mower, his movements are quicker and have a more youthful ease. Coming out of retirement was probably the best thing for Old Farmer. I know he's the best thing for our greens.
a final pass
a walking inspection
