Okay, where was I? “Birds of a Feather?” No, wait, I think it was “For the Birds.” It had something to do with neighbors... I could swear I was going somewhere with this... oh yes! I remember- a dyed in the wool introvert.
From the moment my teacher peeled me from my mother’s leg on the first day of kindergarten, I have been pressed into a life of socializing.
Psychologists tell us that no one is totally an introvert nor totally an extrovert. The term for that in-between area is “ambivert.” So, more accurately, I’m probably more of an ambivert with introverted tendencies. Kind of like my bi-gay friend, who identifies himself as vaginal-friendly, with strong gay tendencies… but, I digress.
Anyway, if you aren’t up on the latest in pop psych, here is my ultra-simple introvert/extrovert explanation in a nutshell:
*cough* Ahem, *cough* When one studies the positron emission tomography scans of the anterior cingulate gyrus, the frontal and temporal lobes and the anterior and posterior thalamus, one will observe the neuronal activity of the premotor cortex process and while taking into consideration the cerebral blood flow, neurotransmitters and the uptake of the dopamine levels as related to...
Just kidding, here it is plain and simple:
Extroverts derive their energy from being around people, then expend such energy when by themselves (think of a battery being recharged and discharged.)
Introverts derive their energy from being alone, then expend such energy being around people.
Don’t get me wrong, I love people as much as the next person, but I prefer them in smaller, more manageable doses.
Without that push in kindergarten, right now I’d probably be curled up in a fetal position somewhere, my thumb planted firmly in my mouth, and twirling a lock of my hair with my other hand. But, having recognized the importance of socialization to one’s well-being, I pushed myself at some point to meet and become friends with a handful of trusted folks.
My husband and I attend a monthly potluck gathering out here, in our new community, that attracts anywhere from 30-60 people. It begins promptly at 6 p.m. and is over at 8 p.m. Two hours tops, and those two hours include drinks, socializing, dinner, and the cleanup and stacking and putting away of chairs and tables. Now that's my kind of socializing. At the end of two hours if I find myself bereft of the energy expended bantering with my 6 to 8 tablemates, I am happy to return home with my husband and recharge.
Living in a residential recreation area, our community swells to include, too numerous for me to count, part-time residents along with tons of additional family and friends, who descend like locusts... who take up residence or visit during the summer months . So at this time of year, when half of the 200+ remaining full-time households migrate south, I actually look forward to some sequestration for my husband and me.
I never gave my propensity toward introversion a second thought while living in a teeming city. But for some reason, in this small town-like setting, it’s become obvious to me that I’m different from the extroverted flock.
Extroverts enjoy having scads of people around them. And to fill this need will start any number of clubs and groups to serve that purpose. Our small community features a fishing club, a travel group, numerous golf leagues, two book discussion groups, an ATV trail group, a bowling league, a quilting club, euchre, bridge, mahjongg and domino groups, line dancing classes, water fitness, yoga, a ski club, waterski club, an equestrian club and a women's club whose leadership is large enough to be divided into three sub-committees. Oh and my favorite, "the yacht club," which has little to do with yachts or boats, but is a nice excuse for meeting, partying and socializing with others. A profusion of such activity well suits extroverts, who are at their best at busy raucous events chatting up every single person in the room. Good, great, I’m happy for you. It’s just not me. Let me repeat: Good! Great! I am happy for you! And I mean those words.
Not really what I think but I thought this was hilarious!
I, however, prefer fewer, more profound friendships, and in lieu of small talk, I prefer meaningful exchanges. It doesn’t mean I can’t blather, because trust me, I can babble endlessly about the weather, television shows and hobbies with the best of them, but the behavior experts are correct, I find the experience tiring.
Before we moved out here we used to visit as guests of my sister & brother-in-law, both extroverts (excuse me, I mean ambiverts with strong extroverted tendencies). Before we would arrive they would have already mapped out the entire weekend with non-stop social activities keeping us flitting about from sunrise to well after sunset. After two days with them it would take us an entire day of complete rest to recoup. One weekend we were visiting when a sudden, somewhat fierce thunderstorm took them by surprise. Power was out locally, we couldn’t go to the clubhouse, the bowling alley was too far to travel in iffy weather, out were the usual options of golf, followed by waterskiing, and the tethering together of a string of boats, filled to capacity with people, for the purpose of bringing socialization to the water… Anyway, that day we manually opened the garage overhead door and put four lawn chairs near the apron. There we sat talking, laughing, reminiscing and idly watching in awe as the storm rolled by. To this day it remains one of my favorite memories of time spent with them.
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