Chew on This or A Taste for Poison

I’m winding down on my “taste buds” theme. I’m currently polishing up a short story, soon to be posted (in two parts.) It’s based on a true event I’d overheard as a kid. 

Meanwhile, back to the present, I’m a believer in the importance of a good breakfast to start your day. I can still remember Sr. Beata, my 7th grade teacher, telling us about the significance of “breaking the fast” with something more nourishing than a chocolate donut. I’ve always been a stickler for good nutrition and so, for the most part, I adhere to the most recent, ever-changing good health guidelines.

My problem is most mornings I have next to nothing in the way of an appetite. Even though I’ve loved vegetables since childhood, and I like fruit and oatmeal and stuff like that, all I really have a taste for in the morn is a cup of coffee and a piece or two of toast, preferably from my own homemade bread.

But, I force myself to gag down eat a “better” breakfast. As “chief cook and bottle-washer” it’s my duty to feed my husband, who actually will eat chocolate donuts if left to his own devices. So, I make a healthy breakfast for both of us. Most days he’ll have oatmeal (or whole grain cereal), fruit, toast, juice and some of my homemade yogurt. I, opt for a fruit smoothie made from a store bought green juice, fruit, greens, homemade yogurt and follow up with a couple of nuts. (ha, ha, no, I’m not referring to us, I mean like almonds, walnuts or brazil nuts.) On Sundays, we’ll have a more traditional American breakfast of eggs, pancakes, sausage or such.

Nine years ago I was at a party where the hostess served some kind of rum-laced mixed drink she blended in one of those “Magic Bullet” blenders. Immediately I wanted one (no not the drink, I wanted the blender) but, the $50 price tag didn’t seem justified. And trust me, I’m not exactly a bargain hunter. Borrowing an Abraham Lincoln trait of using a tale to emphasize my point, I once purchased city museum memberships, so I would have first crack at exhibit openings, kid classes, etc. When I told my husband, he shook his head and said, “Honey, only you could figure out a way to pay for something that was free.”

So, I found a Magic Bullet knock-off at Macy’s/Marshall Fields. (I don’t feel like doing the research to figure out which store was in business at the time.) My smoothie maker was called the “Rocket Blender” and with my coupon and M/MF’s “one-day shopping” discount offer, I bought it for a mere $15. As they say, “even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.”

My sister, who was one of the many proud original “Magic Bullet” owners I knew at the time, snickered as she cautioned, “You get what you pay for.” But, I’m the only one of those Bullet owners I knew then, who has used, and continues to use, their blender on a nearly daily basis. My husband marvels at its durability, although he frightened me recently saying, “That motor has a strange sound. But, well, it works.”

My husband and I get a kick out of the Aldi aisle where they display the extra “junk” (my husband’s word, not mine) which they feature weekly, in addition to foodstuff. The “junk” ranges from bedding, to gardening supplies, to live trees, to small appliances, to 6000 kw generators to toys. You never know what you’ll find. If the “junk” doesn’t sell you’ll find it months later in the discount bin. It was here that he recently found a nifty, electric, variable-temperature fondue set for $10. Unlike me, my husband has a penchant for finding “deals.”

I now have my eye on Aldi’s “Magic Bullet” knock-off smoothie maker, which is going for $19.99. I’ll wait until it’s in the discount bin for $10 and I’ll have a backup for my nearly 10 year old, possibly ailing, Rocket Blender.

So, follows my recipe for a healthy Dr. Oz-type smoothie. *With a caution from me to never, ever, use raw mustard greens for the “greens” in the recipe. I tried them once only to quickly find my self alone and on the bathroom floor, unable to crawl to a telephone, writhing in pain that seared from my esophagus to my stomach. It was there on the floor that I scratched out what I thought might serve for my epitaph, lest I remain epitaphless, or worse yet, be subject to having someone else write one for me. ;-)

herein lies ranell

she tried her best to eat well

self-poisoned she fell

My Daily Smoothie

1/2 cup "Green Drink" (like "The Green Machine" by Naked)

1/2 cup plain unsweetened yogurt

1/2 cup fresh or frozen fruit (I like berries and bananas, but will use any leftover fruit)

1/2 cup cooked greens* (fresh or frozen spinach, kale, turnip greens)

1 or 2 ice cubes

Whirl ingredients in the blender for 30-45 seconds.