Dear ???

You do not know me. And, even though we've never met, I'm fairly certain that over time we could become acquainted and maybe even friends.

Each morning that I can, upon rising, I quickly jot down a few thoughts, thoughts that are formed with you specifically in mind. Hopefully, over time these shared thoughts will help you to form an image of who I am.

I read somewhere that the brain is in a special state upon waking that makes it easier to oscillate between both sides of the brain with relationship to feelings, writing and creativity. So, that is why I've reserved this time of the day for you.

Now, this information on the morning state of mind may be completely wrong and may have just sent you into a fit of laughter at my naivety, because you will probably have access to much more knowledge about the human brain than today's finest scientists can currently muster.

When I jot down my thoughts I use my IPad tablet, because I can use it in the dark and it doesn't wake my husband who is sleeping beside me. If I rouse, he will automatically get up. Sleep is important, so I like to let him rest as much as possible. I don't think that the need for sleep will have changed for you, but you never know.

I just had a scary thought: Maybe people won't read at all in the future. A current researcher in New York says that people, Americans specifically, are reading less. When people see an article or story online, they very rarely finish reading even a quarter of it. So I'm gambling that you will find my words of interest.

I once had this very vivid dream, the kind that sticks in your mind for a long time. In the dream I was meandering through a dark tangle of woods, when I happened upon an elderly couple. I stopped, frozen in my path. They stood so close together that they were almost like a single unit, an older man and women, looking to be about 70-80 years old. They were both just over five feet tall, a tiny bit plump and dressed head-to-foot in undefinable clothing. And every inch of them, clothing included, was a barely translucent pale yellow. One thing I remember is that I felt at peace in their presence.

They were only half-way facing me and they kept their distance, as if they were not allowed to completely face me nor come any closer. I stood in my spot. Now here is the weird part: we were able to communicate without one of us speaking a word. By this, I don't mean we could read one another's mind. I didn't know every thought they had, but what they wanted me to know they could transfer to my brain. Through this transfer I learned that they were ancestors of mine, like great-great-great grandparents. Their message to me was simple and succinct, "We love you. Do not concern yourself with measuring up to others' expectations. You are a unique and good person. Nothing else matters." And finally, "everything will be okay for you." I am telling you this as a thought transfer translator because no actual words were spoken. I simply understood their message. They were turning away from me and I transferred this thought to them, "Wait! Don't go! I love you!" Again, I didn’t hear anything, but I knew they chuckled as they transferred in unison, "We know."  They turned their backs to me. Poof! They were gone and I woke up.

You never know when or where an epiphany will occur. I was sitting in the eye doctor's chair when I got the idea about writing down my thoughts for you. My eye doctor is an affable young man, so I found myself sharing with him that I write a blog. He was instantly fascinated. He stepped back from the equipment, and had an outpouring that consisted of, "How often do you post?" "Do you use your real name or is it anonymous?" "Who is your audience?" "What do you write about?" "I should do that." "How many hits do you average?" and then "Why do you write?"

So, just like a thought transfer, I knew at that moment that I really write for you. I write so that you will know me and because there is simply no other way. Unless, that is, I can figure out that time travel thing my ancestors seem to have mastered.

"I write because I hope that someday my great-great grandchildren will read my words, like I wish that I could read my ancestors' words, know their thoughts and feelings." was my answer to my eye doctor.

"I would enjoy being able to do that, too" the eye doctor replied, wistfully looking off. Then he moved back in, adjusted the lenses and asked, "Which looks clearer, number one or number two?"

Later that very week Matt and Laura came for a two-day visit. Matt had some questions about his lineage. So we pulled out family letters and photos. Late into the night and next day he poured over the material, like a fervid detective piecing together a cold case. He asked questions and verified the parts of the letters and photos that he could by checking dates and addresses on google. He worked at it until it formed something that began to make sense to him. It was infectious, his siblings caught the bug. Later, so did the grandchildren.

***

Some items I post on the blog are meant for you, but more personal items will not be shared. I print them out and place them in a binder just for you. I hope that scientist at the University in NY is wrong and that people still enjoy reading in the future. But, just in case I'll keep my posts around 1,000 words max. And I'll start working on perfecting that time travel thing.

Oh, and I almost forgot: "I love you. You are important to me. Don't be concerned with living up to others' expectations of you. Just be yourself. You are a unique and good individual and that's all that matters."